i just had sex bonerless
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
