Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
