You're so nebulous sometimes
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
