I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
