You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
