did you get engaged???
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Randomize
