Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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