Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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