Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
