I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
