Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
