You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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