I can tuck mytits in my pants
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
