no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
someone owes me an orgasm
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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