Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
