All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
