tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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