party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I have demons in me.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
