I skipped work to stalk him.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
