just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
