My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize