About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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