lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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