I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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