I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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