is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
