Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
