carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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