Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's rum buckets o'clock
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
