dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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