I bet he comes in French.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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