Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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