I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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