Screwed.edu
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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