all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
