yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just puked most of my soul out..
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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