Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
