So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
