I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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