big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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