Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
