best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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