My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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