You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
