Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
