my sisters under your porch take her home
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
