I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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