i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
