You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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