I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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