that's an acceptable place to lick
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
