everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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