Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
im holly from the hills drunk
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize