Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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