I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
