this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
