Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
