At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
